Development Training (DT) week.
The most emotionally and physically destructive week of my life.
I didnt think that would be the case. The week before people were so happy, Oh, you are going on DT next week., That was my favorite week., We really grew as a team that week. With statements like this I thought it would be more class work, but it wasnt. On Monday we hit the ground running literally.
We were thrust into a situation that none of us really understood we were given an objective and were told that we needed to complete it and in order to complete it we would have to endure different tasks and overcome them as a team.
Monday morning and afternoon, we spent the whole morning discussing the task and attending different meetings to understand the safety side of things. Around 10 oclock that night it was over. We had a reflection as a team, as our trainers sat in on our discussion. The trainers wrote down various things we said and was observing how we acted under pressure.
Around 11 oclock I jumped in the shower in our communal bathroom and started to wash my hair and to really reflect on the day from a personal stand point. As I was rinsing out my shampoo and just applying my conditioner, Sue (a fellow trainee) ran into the bathroom screaming for me to get out of the shower. Confused, with conditioner in my hair I jumped out of the shower, put on my bathrobe and ran upstairs to put on warm clothes. We had 5 minutes to get to the lake and our mission was to form a search party for a man who had broken his leg. This whole time, I was angry. Why would someone make us do this? Why now? Do they not know what time it is? There is still conditioner in my hair!!
After this challenge was over, I went back to the shower and finished up, as I was in the shower I started to sob. I started to question the purpose of this training. The purpose of evening being here. My fellow female trainees heard me crying and urged me to dry up and put on my pajamas. I did. In the bathroom they each held me in their arms telling me that this week was only temporary and that God would reveal the purpose soon. I was broken. I missed my bed, my home, my friends, my own shower, and my previous comforts. That night I was ready to drop everything and be on a plane back home, but by the encouragement of my peers I re-evaluated my purpose, and that is To go to France and to tell these lost and discouraged people about the joy and satisfaction of being in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
The next few days after were easier, my team felt stronger and my faith was more firm. I did what I was told and pushed myself through every obstacle, which included hiking for a cumulative 20 km, abseiling, climbing, building and launching a rafting, mapping, backpacking, pitching a tent, and so much more.
Through all of this my team and I were being evaluated. Different quotes of ours were noted and at the end of the week were recanted to us in private discussions.
During my private discussion, I didnt speak much and only listened. They told me I was naturally servant-hearted and needed to be confident in myself. Hearing these two things made me die laughing on the inside.
For those who know me know this. I am a prideful person, I am bossy, and I have much of the dictator personality. My biggest struggle has always been being a servant. Ever since I was young I prayed that God would soften my prideful heart and make me more of a servant. I prayed he would make me more personable and kind.
With hearing this I laughed originally but later praised God, because this just proves his faithfulness. He has been working on me slowly but surely. He has been patient with me and now people see it. They see it. I may not feel it all the time, but God has been shaping me into his servant.
I learned this week that even at your lowest God raises you up. He puts people in your life to encourage you.
I, also, learned that he is faithful to his people. (This made me think of the song Hes Still Working on Me.“)
As I feel tired and miss my home, I am learning that God is enough and that he provides for his children. I am blessed through and by these challenges.
Continue to pray for me.